what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
