This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's shark week go big or go home
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
