I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
