Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
