so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize