i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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