Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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