why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He better not be in your backpack
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
