Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
