i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize