Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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