I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
