dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
