Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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