And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
