you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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