Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
