So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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