Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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