Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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