just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
