I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
