That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
