best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
