Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize