the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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