it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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