If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
