He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
