You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
