i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
