i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
