I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
