sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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