My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
God I need to hump something, right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
