Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
