I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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