that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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