things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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