I want to have your abortion
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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