when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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