Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
