I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
