If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
