You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
