WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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