I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
