No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
