I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
