Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
