just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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