yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
