Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
