why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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