I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
