i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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