why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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