We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
