I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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