Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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