I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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